I have been sucked into the wild world of Twitter!
According to Michael Hyatt, this is a good thing (see his article, "12 Reasons to Start Twittering"). And I have to admit, it's been really fun! I am admittedly still trying to figure it all out, but thanks to Brayden Hirsch, I think I am getting the hang of it. Come check it out!http://twitter.com/StorytellerSL
Along with getting a Twitter, I have been contemplating a Facebook page. I wanted to create something that will grab people's attention, something they will hopefully want to join. Making a fan page for myself feels awkward, so I am doing a "Support Team" page. Encouragement is a big help to me, so a support team seems perfect. My hope is that it will "broaden my online platform," as well as enable me to connect with other fellow writers and readers. The page is all set and ready to go, but every good page needs a good picture.
I've taken several different pictures in different settings, but I can't decide which one is the best. So I need your opinion! Ask yourself which one would grab your attention, and then vote for that picture on the sidebar poll!
With the last strength I had, I made my choice. Covering my eyes with my hands, I cried, “Jesus, help me! I can’t do it without You!”
Not even one second passed before He came. I sensed Him standing in front of me, and I looked into His face. The creatures were behind Him, but they were no longer docile. Furious at His interference, they launched themselves onto His back, trying to tear at Him with their nails and teeth. He remained unscathed by their livid strikes and ignored them completely.
The shadow creature’s false light still shown, but my mind was clear. Though their deceptive fingers had released me to attack Jesus, I was too shocked to stand.
Jesus simply stood, watching me with a smile tugging at the corner of His mouth. I noticed His strong sword still hung in its sheath at His side.
He saw my glance and shook His head. “You still don’t understand. Dear heart, they have already been defeated.” He reached down toward me, the scars made by the cross clearly visible. Grasping my hands in both of His, He pulled me to my feet. “You cannot defeat them. You cannot even resist them, except through Me. Use My strength; don’t depend on yours. I am faithful. I will provide a way out so that you can stand up under them.”
It was so easy, and yet so difficult. I suddenly felt like I wanted to cry, now that I was beginning to understand. “So,” I asked past the lump in my throat, “all I have to do is…?”
“Hold on to Me.”
Gripping His hands tighter, I said, “Ok. I trust You.”
The smile that burst upon His face was the grandest I had ever seen.
Soon after, some of the shadow creatures tried to bring me back under their power. They whispered in my ears and pulled at my arms, but I kept a firm clasp on Jesus’s hands and never looked away from His face. It was almost funny, actually; what chance did the shadow creatures think they had while I was holding onto my Savior?
Eventually, the shadow creatures tired of their fruitless efforts. Their light faded, and their masks of white skin disappeared with it. They slid, one by one, into the forest.
“We’ve arrived,” said Jesus. He turned me around.
Between two trees, like two door posts, I could see my bedroom.
“I’ll always be with you. Always use My strength. Don’t forget.”
“I won’t.” I spun back and threw my arms around Him. “I love You.”
“I love you so much, dear heart.”
I didn’t let go.
After a minute, He laughed. “Go on. You know this won’t be the last time you see Me!”
I nodded and pulled away. “I know. Ok. Bye.”
“Bye? Didn’t I just say I will always be with you?”
“Oh, yeah.” I laughed along with Him and walked toward my bedroom.
Though I was coming out of late afternoon, the first rays of dawn greeted me through the windows of my bedroom, chasing away the night’s darkness.
"Our temptation is to face adversaries from the standpoint of our own common sense. But a saint can “be of good cheer” [John 16:33] even when seemingly defeated by adversaries, because victory is absurdly impossible to everyone, except God."
He looked me in the eyes before responding gently, “Dear heart, I am training you not to fight.”
“What? I don’t get it. You’re training me not to fight the shadow creatures? But they’ll keep bringing me back to that tower!” I was beginning to go into hyper-panic mode.
Jesus placed His hands on my shoulders. “Dear heart, this is what I’ve been trying to teach you. I want you to surrender. Listen to Me.” He continued slowly and deliberately, “You will never be able to defeat the enemy. They are far too cunning…. But I can defeat them for you.”
At last, His point was starting to click inside my thick head.
He went on, “You have to let Me do it. Dear heart, I want so badly to help you. Surrender to Me.”
“But…,” I attempted an excuse and failed. There was nothing to say. His words went against every instinct in me, but He had to be right because He was Jesus.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw movement among the trees. By the time I turned to look, they were just a few feet away.
I screamed and fled, pulling away from Jesus as I ran, but the shadow creatures moved faster than I did. They were on me in a moment, their icy hands pulling me down.
And then I did the dumbest thing. I fought the shadow creatures. I tried to claw at them and bite their hands. I pushed and squirmed and screamed, but they held on.
The now familiar light suddenly bathed me in its unnatural beams. My head lolled and I felt my muscles slow. Thoroughly groggy, I couldn’t keep up the fight.
Something brushed my ear. “Follow meee…,” the creature whispered.
No, I couldn’t. Why not? I didn’t know why not. The light made me so dizzy….
A sliver of sanity crossed my mind, telling me to surrender. Surrender to Him.
No, I could fight! I had to fight! I could do this!
The shadow creatures’ fingers felt so soft and smooth. The light made me so sleepy….
A gentle touch pulled me from my slumber. I looked up. It was Him.
As fresh tears cascaded down my face, He pulled me into His arms. “I’m sorry,” I sobbed out.
“Dear heart,” He said tenderly. “I forgive you.”
He held me until my wails evolved into hiccupping spasms. Then He helped me stand. “Come on,” He said. “You can’t stay here.” Taking that small gold key from his pocket again, He unbound my chained hands and feet.
I followed Him to the rope dangling into my prison through the crack in the wall. He gestured at our escape route and said, “Ladies first.”
I tried to pull myself up the rope, but the sides of my prison had somehow become smoother than last time, and my feet couldn’t find a good hold. If I hadn’t been so weak from days without eating, I may have been able to climb it, but I’m not sure.
After a few tries, I turned to Jesus. “I can’t do it. I can’t climb up.”
He nodded. “It’s always harder to escape the second time.”
“So, we’re stuck in here?!” I panicked aloud.
He waited.
I remembered Who I was talking to. Not even a sealed tomb could keep Him in, much less my prison. “Can You help me get out? Please?”
With an ear-to-ear smile, He replied, “I was hoping you would ask.”
He climbed the rope as easily as a fish swims; the slick wall could not hinder Him. When He was safely above ground, He told me to hang onto the rope. I obeyed, and He slowly drew me up. We were both under the blue sky in a matter of minutes.
Jesus untied the rope from the tree He had secured it to. As He began coiling the rope, a thought suddenly hit me, but I hesitated to voice it. He stopped His work and looked at me. “Go ahead,” He said.
“Jesus,” I began, “I know my capture was my own fault; I shouldn’t have given into the shadow creatures. But… why didn’t You help me? Didn’t You… I mean, You must have known what was happening. Didn’t You wake up?”
His eyes grew deeply sad. “Yes, dear heart, I knew what was happening. I was watching.” His voice cracked just a bit. “But,” He added, “you didn’t ask Me to help. You were too busy trying to fight them on your own.”
“I have to ask for Your help?” How could He have just stood there and let me be dragged off? I was incredulous.
He was patient. “You have to want my help. I never force it on anyone; I will only help you if you want Me to. My way is the perfect way, but I gave you a free will to accept or decline My help.”
So it was still all my fault.
We started walking through the forest, covering the same ground we had covered before. The sun moved across the sky slowly, but I kept a close eye on it. When it was past noon, I spoke up, “Hey, um, Jesus. Do You think now would be a good time to start my training? Because, those shadow creatures might come back for me tonight and I want to be prepared.”
“Your training has already begun.”
“What?” I cried. “But all I’ve done is get captured! You haven’t even given me the smallest bit of advice on how to wield a sword!”
He stopped and turned to look at me. “Did I ever say your training would involve weapons?”
“Um, well, not exactly….”
“I never hinted at anything of the sort.”
“But that’s what training is!” I protested.
Shaking His head, He explained, “You train to become better at something, and it doesn’t have to be with weapons. Athletes train to race better. Warriors train to fight better.”
“But I thought You were going to train me to be a warrior to fight the shadow creatures!”
He looked me in the eyes before responding gently, “Dear heart, I am training you not to fight.”
Again they pulled at me with their freezing hands. I cried out, “No!” and tried to stand, but they kept me firmly fixed to the ground. I looked around for Jesus, but the shadow creatures surrounded me and blocked my view of Him.
Suddenly, there was that same dizzying light. The same feeling of stupor. The same urge to give in.
No! I willed myself to fight back. I felt that I couldn’t fail again. I couldn’t let myself give in.
But the shadow creatures did not let me go, and I couldn’t tear myself from them. I wondered if I really wanted to. Was that prison so bad? Were the chains so heavy? And Jesus would rescue me as soon as I asked Him to. He was nice like that.
The intoxicating aura of false peace washed over me, irresistible. The creature leaned over and whispered, “Follow meee….”
I don’t even remember the first step this time. All I know is that I found myself starting awake, once again, in the prison tower with the vague recollection that I had chained myself there.
I had never thought I would fall into the same trap. If it had been horrible the first time I failed, it was double the horror now.
And then I thought of Him. I’d let Him down. And that was the greatest heartbreak of all. How could I have ever thought He would rescue me again? And even if He did, how could I face Him?
My shame overwhelmed me. My guilt was heavier than my shackles. I mourned and moaned in the tower for days. No one came, which only made my sorrow deepen, until it was so deep I felt like I could drown in it.
I was hungry, thirsty, tired, and cold. It was the closest to death I had ever been.
Finally, just when I thought I would burst from the pain, I did the only thing left to be done. I cried out for help.
“God,” I whispered, “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. Please… help me. I’ll die without You.”
