A Beginning, A Muddle, And An End

Hey'a, fair peoples of the internet! I am here bearing tidings and stories!

I have come to embrace the cycle that I talked about in the previous post: Writing, then realizing that I don't know where I'm going. Plotting, then realizing that I don't know what the characters would naturally do. Character Developping, then figuring out enough to start writing again. I figure that I will eventually finish as long as I continue working on it. 

Right now, I am writing the begining (yes, again, shut up). I happen to have three seperate documents in the folder titled "Possible Start", "Possible Middle", and "The End." The first is a couple hundred words, the second is completely blank, and the third has a short list of things that must be accomplished in the story by the end of the book. These are not the only Flight docs (*weary snicker*), but they give a good idea of how the basic story stands in my head right now. It's a muddle in the middle and the ending is far away. 

Speaking of middle muddles, my copy of AVI's A Beginning, a Muddle, and an End was horribly murdered by mold. Such a tragedy has never befallen my library before. I guess that's what happens when you live in the south. Thankfully, abebooks.com came to my rescue again by providing a cheep replacement. 

I've been enjoying J. R. R. Tolkien these past few weeks. I'm reading Carpenter's biography and falling in love with Toller's imagination in a new way. Alongside, I'm reading the new Beowulf by Tolkien. The commentary is a challenge, of course, but it's worth the struggle. I'm learning so much about Tollers, Middle Earth, and even history itself between these two books. 

As time goes on, I get a profound sense of loneliness in my writing. Obviously, writing is usually a work for one. That's not what I mean. The feeling partly comes from reading about the Inklings. I want to be part of a like-minded group, belong to a place where the limits of my knowledge will be pushed, be striving for holiness in story with others. 

So I will be going to the writer's conference. I'm going to learn much about my craft and meet many professionals in my field of study. But I'm praying for an extra blessing. Maybe I will find a group to meet with. Or maybe I'll just find a friend. Maybe God will say, "Not for you. Not now."

Well, I can only be faithful.

Post Tenebras Lux!

-ST