Apr 22, 2010

~The Battle Surrendered - Part Five~

The Battle Surrendered
Part Five
Storyteller SilverLoom



     The shadow creatures were back.
     Again they pulled at me with their freezing hands. I cried out, “No!” and tried to stand, but they kept me firmly fixed to the ground. I looked around for Jesus, but the shadow creatures surrounded me and blocked my view of Him.
      Suddenly, there was that same dizzying light. The same feeling of stupor. The same urge to give in.
     No! I willed myself to fight back. I felt that I couldn’t fail again. I couldn’t let myself give in.
     But the shadow creatures did not let me go, and I couldn’t tear myself from them. I wondered if I really wanted to. Was that prison so bad? Were the chains so heavy? And Jesus would rescue me as soon as I asked Him to. He was nice like that.
     The intoxicating aura of false peace washed over me, irresistible. The creature leaned over and whispered, “Follow meee….
     I don’t even remember the first step this time. All I know is that I found myself starting awake, once again, in the prison tower with the vague recollection that I had chained myself there.
     I had never thought I would fall into the same trap. If it had been horrible the first time I failed, it was double the horror now.
     And then I thought of Him. I’d let Him down. And that was the greatest heartbreak of all. How could I have ever thought He would rescue me again? And even if He did, how could I face Him?
     My shame overwhelmed me. My guilt was heavier than my shackles. I mourned and moaned in the tower for days. No one came, which only made my sorrow deepen, until it was so deep I felt like I could drown in it.
     I was hungry, thirsty, tired, and cold. It was the closest to death I had ever been.
     Finally, just when I thought I would burst from the pain, I did the only thing left to be done. I cried out for help.
     “God,” I whispered, “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. Please… help me. I’ll die without You.”
     I cried myself to sleep.

9 comments:

Storyteller said...

The end.

Just kidding. ;)

I apologize for the strange way the titles look. I know it is not very professional, but I think the near identical titles are what caused the earlier posts to malfunction.

Squeaks said...

Wow...it gets even more interesting all the time, Storyteller!!

Squeaks.

Galadriel said...

"He was nice like that.."
makes me laugh.
Reminded me of the Everything human video by Lifehouse

Jake said...

I'm beginning to see a clearer view of a possible allegory... Great writing.

Can't wait to see what happens next!

Anonymous said...

"The end" would be quite depressing.

This is very, very good! You're taking it ways I didn't dream. I assumed that, naturally, in this part the shadow monsters would come and Jesus would epically defeat them and all would move on.

I only just realized the creatures represented sin... and I can so relate to the narrator in thinking that I'll never do something, then I go right ahead and do it.

Refreshing, beautiful story, ST.

-whisper

Storyteller said...

Thank you so much, everyone! You're comments are so encouraging!

Galadriel, I'm not familiar with that video. I'll have to look it up.

Millardthemk said...

It is interesting..from the start I feared that would be decision taken. Oh how I feel the pain of this poor lass.

Jessica said...

Oh, Storyteller this is wonderful. The message you have here is so powerful...I am excited to see what comes next.

Storyteller said...

Thatnks, Millard and Jessica! I'm excited to tell you what happens!