Apr 17, 2010

TBS - Part One

    In a previous post, Tell Me a Story, I gave you the first paragraph of a short story I was writing and asked you to create your own version while I created mine. The stories you all wrote were great and I really enjoyed reading and discussing them.

     My short story is finally finished, standing at about seven pages. Yeah, I really took the idea and ran with it. Apparently, it is nearly impossible for me to write a story shorter than a page.

     Needless to say, I will not be posting the whole thing all at once. The story will appear, bit by bit, over the next few days... or week... or so... Anyway, I will try to keep the parts short and sweet for easy reading. Hope you enjoy it!


The Battle Surrendered  
Part One  
Storyteller SilverLoom

     They came at night. Like gliding shadows, they moved soundlessly across my bedroom. I had no idea they were coming for me. There was no time to prepare for their attack.
     I woke just in time to see them reaching toward me. It was too late. Their fingers were like ice; black icicles circling around my arms, my neck, and my head.
     Screaming in terror, I pulled back, trying to roll over, trying to get away from the shadow creatures. Still they clutched at me.
     All at once, a dim light dawned over me and my assailants. But instead of clarifying, this light seemed to make everything blurry. It illuminated the shadow creatures, but they did not disappear like shadows; instead, they seemed to grow more solid, and their skin turned white, soft, and pleasantly warm. Their eyes were dark, but gentle. The light seemed to emanate from someplace unseen behind the creatures.
     A strange feeling invaded my body and mind, similar to the one you get when you have a fever and take a sedative cold medicine. I could feel my eyelids droop under the unnatural disorientation, and I began to wonder why I was fighting. I reasoned that I was not being hurt, so why bother to struggle? It was too much work to try to get away.
     The creatures pulled me into a standing position beside my bed. I didn’t resist. One of the creatures twittered in my ear, its voice soothing, “Follow meee….”
     I didn’t ask where it wanted me to follow it to. I would see when I got there. It would take too much effort to talk.
     I remember taking the first step to follow the creature. Something nagged within me, telling me that what I was doing was stupid and wrong, but I buried the feeling and stepped forward. The next thing I knew, I was blinking as if I had just woken up and saw that I was no longer in my bedroom.


Galadriel said...

Oh, creepy

Barie said...

Interesting story. I like your drawing. The shadow looks like Jack Skeleton ;D

Isaac Permann said...

Hey, one thing. Would it be okay if I had your blog on my bloglist?

Storyteller said...

Thank you, Barie and Galadriel! Hee hee, Barie, you're right, it does look like Jack Skeleton!

Isaac, absolutely! I am honored.

Aidan Romero said...


Star-Dreamer said...

Cool story excerpt! I like it very much! :)

Storyteller said...

Thank you, Aidan and Star-Dreamer!

Celebrilomiel said...

I love it!!!

Storyteller said...

Glad to hear that, Celebrilomiel!

Tiffany Henry said...

WOW! You seem it write like me, laying on the drama and good vs bad spirit creature stuff.This is the stuff like to read!